Using the right approach to convince your elderly parents to acknowledge and accept that they need help will make that conversation go a lot smoother. Here are some helpful tips:
- Consult with a geriatric care manager in your area for guidance on how to approach your parents. If you decide to enlist his or her services, ask they handle situations where a client does not feel they need help.
- Choose a quiet location, either at your home or theirs, to have this talk with your parents. Don’t bring up the subject at family gatherings or at birthday, holiday or other special occasions.
- Instead of making the conversation all about what your parents are or aren’t doing, keep the discussion on your feelings and concerns. For example, the conversation could begin with, “Dad, lately I’ve been very worried about you, and it’s because…”
- A good approach to getting your parents to agree to an evaluation by a professional is to make it more about alleviating your concerns and less about their shortcomings. For example, “Mom, I know you told me not to worry about you, but I always want the best for you. If we could just listen to what this professional has to say, I would feel a lot better. We don’t have to agree to anything, just hear her out and decide if any of her recommendation make sense. Fair enough?”
- Keep in mind that a third party who is not a relative and can remain objective may help your parents see the situation from a different perspective. It will feel more like getting advice from a professional and less like being told what to do by their adult children.
