Why a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Facility?”

In a past column I touched on the fact that no one wakes up and says to him or herself, “I want to go live in a nursing home or assisted living facility today.” I’ve also written about how often the adult children of the elderly feel guilty about making the tough but loving choice to opt for nursing home or assisted living care.

Now I’d like to dig a little deeper here as to why many have come to decide that nursing or assisted living facility care and services are the best option for the situation at-hand.

Let me start with something that might not readily come to mind: this being the social aspects of nursing home or assisted living facility care and services. Sadly, many of our elderly are often confined to their homes and for the most part don’t enjoy the social interaction one receives when living in a group setting such as an assisted living or nursing facility. For the homebound individual there may be the occasional visit by a loved one or neighbor however regular daily contact is missing.

This isn’t the case at the nursing home or assisted living community where residents are around folks there own age. Here stories can be shared, smiles and laughter abound, and new friends are made. As you know, human beings are not, for the most part, geared to a life of total solitude. This is made even worse when a husband or wife has passed away and the surviving spouse is left alone to stare at the four walls.

A second aspect of the nursing home or assisted living environment is the fact that the staff is trained to provide care and assistance to residents. Yes, many adult children wish to be the primary caregiver for their mother or father; they feel it’s their duty in an effort to pay back mom or dad for all of the love, guidance and support received over the years. And in some case this caregiving arrangement works. However often times, the adult child discovers that what was a noble idea made with the best of intentions falls far short of the mark.

The reasons for this are many. To start, the adult child often has a family of her or his own, quite possibly with younger children who have their own needs. Next, the adult child may indeed have work place responsibilities that keep them in an office, or shop, or in the field some eight to ten hours a day. Here having to handle household chores and/or children, plus the added duty of providing care for an aging parent may mean that you find that there aren’t enough hours in the day.

Many times, adult children discover that once care is left to facility staff, they can then return to being the resident’s daughter or son, and use the time spent together with their mother or father in a more loving and peaceful way. Here the job of caregiver is left to others, and the daughter/son-parent relationship can thrive.

Here the best of both worlds are accomplished. Your loved one gets the care she or he needs, and you get to enjoy your time with them in a relaxed state of mind.