The Emotional Toll of Caregiving- Cleveland Elder Law Attorney

You may have heard the phrase “Promise me you will never put me in a home,” from the mouth of your aging loved ones. Maybe it was a promise you made when they were much younger and healthy. It’s a promise that brings with it a lot of emotions when faced with deciding between caring for your aging parent or seeking the help of a skilled care facility. Some common emotions we face during these decisions include:

Stress and Anxiety

No one wants to make tough decisions. Dealing with an aging parent is stressful, and a great cause of anxiety. Stress over finances, care options and end of life decisions weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. No matter what decisions you make, you can expect to question if they were the right choices long after the decisions are made and the plans executed. There are no easy answers.

Anger

Anger is normal. We get angry that our parent, who is supposed to care for us, is in a helpless situation. We get angry that there aren’t cures for diseases, or that dementia is robbing our loved one from precious memories. We get angry that we are forced into a caregiving role, or that we have to make tough choices. Anger that lasts is a sign of burnout, and seeking a counselor or support group is very important, especially if you are directly providing care for your loved one.

Guilt

Many of us simply cannot become full time caregivers. You may have children of your own to care for, a demanding career, or may simply not have the patience to provide daily care for your loved one. All of this is perfectly acceptable. Accept your limitations and find solutions that work best for everyone. Releasing yourself from guilt is the best favor you can do yourself.

Fear

Everyone experiences fear during this process. You may be scared a loved one with dementia will get lost, fear death, or fear being responsible for such major life decisions.

Sadness and Grief

Sadness and grief often appear when we least expect it. Memories or other triggers may make us feel like we are drowning in sorrow. If these moments don’t pass quickly, or you cannot take your mind off of the sadness, seek help. Depression is very common in caregivers.