You get the call that changes your life: Mom or Dad can’t live alone any longer. Whether the call comes from a sibling, a family friend or your loved one’s healthcare provider, it is a call that shakes the foundation of what is “normal” life. In today’s world, families are scattered across miles, states and countries. So how can you help, when you are far away?
The first decision you must make is if you can relocate to take on the role of primary caregiver, or not. Family commitments, your career, pets, plants, house and finances must all be taken into account. While your immediate response may be that you have to come to the rescue, take time to make a decision you can live with, one way or the other.
If you decide that becoming the primary caregiver is not the right option to exercise, don’t beat yourself up about the choice. There is plenty you can do from afar to make a positive impact.
The first step is understanding the diagnosis, and establishing a relationship with your loved one’s caregivers. Ask for brutal honesty about the condition and the limitations. Ask the experts what they suggest is the safest option for your loved one. Once you have a clear picture, you can search for resources in the community to meet the needs of your loved one.
Find an elder law attorney to help you with the financial planning aspect of care. Make sure your loved one’s estate is in order, all needed documents are signed and that you have a way to pay for the care that is needed. A geriatric care manager is also another excellent resource to consider.
Ask for help. Do what you can, and accept your limitations.
