Anyone who’s lived through the experience of receiving bad news about a loved one’s condition knows what traumatic and life-altering experience this can be. Whether an individual learns that a close friend has passed or a family member has just been diagnosed with a terminal disease, the news does not come easily and the individual on the receiving end must cope with it in a way that’s all his or her own. For instance, while some people deal with the unfortunate news the moment they receive it (and begin coping with it almost immediately), others deal with the news quite differently. Oftentimes, the full brunt of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, for instance, doesn’t hit the individual until weeks, months, or in some cases even years after the diagnosis.
Regardless of when individuals begin responding to the news, most all of them go through a similar grieving process that’s filled with an array of intense, and often conflicting emotions. Unfortunately, some individuals have an extraordinarily difficult time coping with the news about their loved one—or with the news that they’ll now be a caretaker or be asked to shoulder enormous financial burdens. As such, it is not uncommon for some individuals—whether friend or family—to lose control over their emotions and treat the loved one with Alzheimer’s in an uncharacteristically abusive manner. Should you suspect a family member or friend of causing your loved one harm—or if someone has accused you—then you should contact an elder law attorney without delay. By contacting a qualified elder law attorney (who has familiarity with the issues relating to Alzheimer’s), you ensure the protection of your loved one by doing everything within your power to keep any potentially abuse people out of the picture.
Stages of Grief
1. Shock: Hoping that the person is not ill or that the person will simply get better. General disbelief that the loved one has been diagnosed with the condition,
2. Denial: Feeling frustrated with the loved one; feeling resentment for having to be a caregiver; feeling abandoned or all alone.
3. Depression: Feeling despair, isolation, and loneliness; withdrawal from activities or withholding of emotions.
4. Physical symptoms of distress: Symptoms of illness or fatigue resulting from overwhelming stress or even denial.
5. Anxiety: Excessive concern and worry for what the future may hold; intense feelings of uncertainty or uneasiness.
6. Anger: Intense frustration at the situation or even anger at the disease itself; feelings impatience and frustration with your loved one, at the doctor, at God for allowing this
7. Guilt: Blaming ourselves for things we think we shouldn’t have done, like yelling; wondering if you did something to cause the illness or that you somehow failed; feeling bad because you’re still able to enjoy life
8. Hesitancy to keep up normal activities: Fear that your loved one’s condition and the life adjustments you make to care for him or her will prevent you from living your life; feeling that others will treat you differently as a result of your loved one’s condition
9. Healing of memories: Arriving at the understanding that the pain you associate with memories is actually a healing process.
10. Acceptance: Accepting; finding personal meaning in treating someone who is terminally-ill; appreciating the personal growth that comes from overcoming a loss
